Trippin' on Marriage

Taking the time to travel with your partner is one of the best things you can do for your marriage. So just go!

Mark Twain once said, ““I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”

This year marked our 25th wedding anniversary. Yep, time flies when you’re having fun. By taking Mr. Twain’s advice and testing our marriage by traveling every year together for the last twenty-five years, we have learned a whole lot. The first and most important thing is that we actually have fun together. This year, we traveled to 5 different countries in Europe to celebrate the fact that we are still together and actually still like each other. But how have we made this work for all these years and still look forward to planning our next trip? Let me explain.

For the last 25 years of marriage, my husband and I have traveled somewhere for our anniversary without the kids. Every March, when work and life allows, we set out on either a local Staycation (looking at you Monterey, Cambria and Rancho Mirage) or a farther destination (New Orleans cuisine, anyone?), just to get away from the normalities of everyday life.

Now, I know that this isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Not everyone wants to travel or take the time to try to make it work. I’ve spoken to a lot of parents over the years and many times, it’s about the kids. They are busy raising little ones and can’t take time out of their busy lives to get away for a weekend. As our kids were growing up, all of our free weekends were spent at sports tournaments, games and track meets and then traveling to more games and tournaments and meets. Taking a vacation meant missing these (ever so annoyingly precious) times. Also, it’s hard to get anyone to watch these little buggers. I get it. Sometimes, it’s finances that are holding people back. Been there. But I’ve always been an advocate for trying to travel more with your partner and I promise that you NEED that cherished, small break from life. I believe that taking that time to travel with your partner is important and can be done easily, without the stress of worry or financial burden. Here are some to traveling with your significant other.

 IT DOESN’T MATTER WHERE YOU GO, JUST GO!

When my husband and I got married, we were young and pretty financially strapped. We couldn’t take a big honeymoon so we saved enough to drive from Los Angeles to a smaller Comfort Inn in Solano Beach near San Diego. It wasn’t fancy but it was by the beach and a place away from home. The next year, we saved up enough money to afford a “Post-Honeymoon” to Maui. This was our first time away together as a couple and we did Maui on the smallest budget we could. It was after that trip, and the birth of my son, that we decided we would go on an Anniversary trip every year. My parents had just come off a divorce and one of the things I never saw them do was take time for themselves. So, at that time, I felt like my husband and I were making an investment in our future. For the next few years, as we grew our family, we limited our trips to smaller “Staycations” like Santa Barbara, Hollywood, Palm Springs and Las Vegas. Each of these were less than five hours from our home in LA. We would try to find inexpensive places to stay and then spent most of our time exploring the city for the weekend. As the kids grew more independent and money became less of an issue, we started branching out to places further away. We have visited Charleston, NYC, Chicago, Miami, and Savannah, just to name a few, all in the month of March. Every year, we experience something new. We dive into the tourist-y vibes and get our boundaries of the city. Every place has something special to see and we are able to experience it together. Everyone always asks me about my favorite place to visit and I proudly say “I love everywhere I go, as long as I get to go!” You see, it’s not the destination, it’s the journey. Plan a place and go.

WHAT ABOUT MY KIDS?

I have been lucky enough to have my in-laws around to watch my children. Not everyone is as lucky. Many couples I know struggle with leaving their children alone for even a night. But, let’s think about it. There is definitely someone out there that you trust to watch them for a night or two. Most couples with other kids love to would love to watch your kiddos because it keeps their own kids busy. As parents, we feel as if we are putting others out by asking them to watch your offspring. But to be honest, I have never heard of friends not willing to help another couple out, especially when it comes to allowing you to live your best life. If they don’t want that, they kinda suck as friends, no? Here is a thought-do a kid-swap like they do at Disneyland. A friend or family member can watch your kids and then you make a deal to watch theirs. You will be surprised how quickly they jump at that deal and you’ll have tons of vacation tips to help them out. Win-win, people!

OUR FINANCES DON’T ALLOW IT

Money is always an obstacle. Traveling costs too much when you add up the expenses of plane flights and gas, hotels, resorts or AirBnB’s, and rental cars. Then there is food and entertainment costs. So to start off, stay local. Check out deals on Tik Tok or travel sites for discounts on resorts or hotels during the off season. Join a rewards program like Marriott Bonvoy and earn points that go towards future stays. Try apps like Turo to rent an inexpensive drive or look for discounts on Groupon. We recently used Get Your Guide for our Europe trip and you can book every excursion with discounts and all, right from your phone. Find campgrounds or campsites on the beach that allow you to tent camp for a small amount. Once on a weekend trip to Solvang about three hours away from our home, we booked a very inexpensive hotel in the center of town and the perks were huge. We could walk around the entire city, the hotel was small but cozy, we received coupons from our hotel for discounts to restaurants and bars and we went during a time where the local wine tasting self-tour was half off the price. I’ve even known some couples that go to dinner at a local eatery and stay at a local hotel for the night. Again, getting away doesn’t need to cost a fortune. You just need to decide on where and when. Take the time to do the research and find what works for you. The rest comes easy.

 MAKE IT FUN

When the kids were teenagers, my husband and I couldn’t decide on a destination, so we wrote them all down on pieces of paper and let our kids pick it out of a hat. We ended up visiting Sedona, AZ, the closest of the few locations we threw in there. The kids loved being a part of the decision. I have some long-time friends who secretly plan a getaway trip for each other every Anniversary. They plan it and then surprise their partner with the destination a week before the trip. One couple I know visits a different MLB stadium every year, another visits a different theme hotel, (locally The Madonna Inn and The Victorian Mansion are two faves) to spice it up. I love hearing about everyone’s adventures and am so proud that they choose to experience it together.

Throughout my marriage, I have found that traveling with your partner is important to keeping your marriage strong and happy. We are lucky enough as a family to travel together, too. We have had many adventures with both of our kids, through vacation or sports trips. We have taught our kids that traveling is essential and they now make it a priority to travel themselves. I cherish my Anniversary trips with my husband and am glad we made that commitment to the “future” when we did. The future is here and we’re still going.